Baby Mama

Wasn't this movie hilarious?? If you haven't seen it, Tina Fey hires crazy Amy Poehler to be a surrogate and carry her baby. I think they thought of nearly every funny situation that might come up when someone else has your baby in their belly. It shows the nightmare of what could be. It's not exactly adoption, but I know many of us picture the nightmare senario when we picture a birthmother. I know I did, until just a few months ago.

It all started when I read the most amazing adoption book ever. (click on it for details)

Many of you have asked me questions about our sweet birth mom. I know you are curious! We have shared bits and pieces with some of you about her, but we want to respect her privacy and not share all the details of her life. You never know, one day we might be in a relationship where we end up inviting her to our baby's birthday and you might meet her! For now though, I thought I'd share some of the crazy things that I found out from reading that book. :)

Not too long ago, birth moms were shamed because of their situation. Adoptions were secret, records were sealed, and adoptive parents never dreamed of meeting the birth mom. They certainly wouldn't have a relationship with her!

Now, open and semi-open adoptions are the norm. Most adoptive parents make a scrapbook style profile. Pregant teens and women look through the profile and choose a couple that they love. Sometimes, like in our case, she meets with more than one couple to make her final decision. Many couples talk with the birthmom a few times, and most couples send pictures and letters to her through an agency. Sometimes, the relationship is even more"open." Adoptive parents may chat with her often, and may choose to set up visits after the baby is born. It's not usually recommended to have a co-parenting situation. That's not what open adoption is, although it's a common fear! Our birthmom actually told us, "Don't worry, I don't want to come over to your house every weekend or anything!" I had to laugh, because that's one fear we talked about. :) We're still figuring out where we are on the spectrum!

Who is she? Before I met our birth mom, my misconception of "who she is" made it hard for me to fathom ever hanging out with her or really talking with her after the birth. Well, as the book so simply states, "she is simply a woman whose birth control failed." Think about it. Sound like a drug addict, crazy-eyed street person? Nope. Could it be someone you know or even a good friend? Yup.

Here are some stats:

Women in an unplanned, crisis pregnancy who choose adoption over parenting are
-more likely to marry later
-less likely to be unemployed
-have significant life goals
-similar in income and education to birth mothers who married before giving birth
-less likely to be on government assistance in the future
-generally 19-29 years old (This one was a SHOCKER! Our agency recently had two 38 year old birthmoms! Not exactly the 16 year old I pictured.)

These girls love their babies SO MUCH that they want to provide a life better than what they are currently able to offer. Is it a hard choice? Yes. Do they care about their babies? So much.

I am not saying that women who choose adoption are better than women who choose to raise their babies. Please don't hear that! I know many AMAZING kids that started out life with a single mom. We know how amazing single moms can be, and we know that because we know them! Do you know how many people have told me that they are adopted recently? Adoption is not a visible thing. You may not know that your friend chose adoption for her baby 10 years ago, or that another friend was adopted as an infant. Because of that, we are often left to speculate as to who birth moms are. Can they be drug addicts, homeless or con artists? Yes. Can they be a National Merit Scholar, award winning cheerleader or beauty pagent winner? They can, but they are often somewhere between those two extremes!

The bottom line is that the women who chose adoption are regular people, just like you. They have problems, dreams, heartaches, and loves. She may just lack the financial, emotional, or social resources needed to raise a baby. We LOVE our "Baby Mama" and are so blessed by her selfless decision!

PS- 37 days!?!!!!

Getting ready for Baby!

Whew! I started back to school last week, and it's been a whirlwind! It was so good to see all of you at school, and I never get tired of talking about our baby, so it's been great to be able to talk about it all day long. The last slide in my TAKS Data presentation on Monday was of our sweet baby's sono picture, and I even had a little pink bow in her hair. I think it's the first time I've ever presented TAKS data and gotten applause. :) I've loved all of your sweet hugs, comments, squeals, and tears, but, Lori, you win the prize for the most creative response to our news. She said words didn't do her feelings justice and started right into "I'm so excited! I just can't hide it..." Too fun! Here's what my room looked like when I got back from break: YIKES! I don't have an after picture yet, because it's still a work in progress. It looks much better, but it's still not even a fraction of the cuteness of the other teachers at my school.

I've been working on my classroom and plans, but this year is different than other school years, because we've also been working like crazy at home to get everything ready to go!

Bethany and I spent an ENTIRE day together registering at Babies R Us and Target and having a girls day. I loved every minute of it. They make the cutest things for babies! I can't believe our little ones will be born less than 2 weeks apart! On Wednesday Dave and Bethany and Mark and I went to the Baby Care class at Baylor Grapevine. Can anything really prepare you for bringing home a new baby?? At least we had fun in class!

Mark worked hard to assemble our crib. She will love sleeping in the same bed that her big cousin Bennett slept in. :)

Mark put these amazing shelves in our baby's closet. Didn't he do a great job? They are already filling up with all things baby!

Today we assembled our glider after fighting the back to school crowds out there. WOW!

Then we both had to try it out... I can't wait to be holding a baby in that chair!

Finally... we had our home study last night!!! Leslie, the agency director, came to our house and checked everything out. Of course, we decided to redo our dining room in the midst of all this craziness.

We started with painting over the red when Megan was in town, and have been working on it whenever we have a spare minute.


We recovered the chairs on my great-grandma's table, which we are so excited to have now! I finished making curtains in the nick of time. I was still working on them yesterday before she came! She interviewed each of us individually and together and toured our home. The whole thing took a little more than 2 hours. We are now officially ready to go if she has her baby tomorrow. I'd better go get packed for the hospital!

Happy first week of school to all of you moms and teachers!

We were so excited to have Mark's sister Megan and her kids in town last weekend! (We missed you, Greg!) We met up with Mark's other sister, Beth, her husband Rusty and their kids at Chuck E. Cheese. Have you ever been to Chuck E. Cheese on a Saturday night?? Don't do it!! It was PACKED. The kids didn't seem to mind though!

Aren't Uncle Mark and Tucker cute in their matching shirts?

Cade and McKinnan were busy putting out fires.

Gramm was so engrossed in his game that he wouldn't look up no matter what kind of dancing we did! Jaxon would much rather play than pause for pictures too. :) Thanks for all the bottles, Gramm!

Megan and the kids stayed with us through Monday. She didn't come to relax, she came to help us get ready for Baby Girl Long (and paint the dining room)!! First she brought in tons of baby stuff from Tucker and McKinnan for our little one. So fun! She is a MASTER on the sewing machine. She made the inserts for the big, fluffy crib bumpers...
... and taught me how to make the bumper covers and the crib skirt. She and Beth are also working on custom children's clothing together. The stuff is ADORABLE! Baby Girl Long already has dibs on all the samples!! Visit her blog at Tickle Monster to see more.

Here's McKinnan modeling one of the outfits. It's a good thing she makes baby sizes too! We also went to a million fabric stores to find the cutest nursery fabric around. If you like cute fabric, you should check out Cabbage Rose. CUTE! Here's what we finally decided on for the main fabric for the nursery. I LOVE IT!!!

Isn't it sweet and girly??

Colson LOVED his new Webkinz.

These guys are excited to meet their newest little cousin!! (McKinnan, Cade, Colson, Tucker)

Our first sono!!

We had such a fun family weekend. I'll be blogging about that soon (with lots of pictures!) but for now I need to write about the big day!

After we got matched with our sweet birth mom last week, she invited us to come to her sonogram. We met up with a social worker from the agency and her at her doctor's office. While we waited we chatted about all we've done to get ready for Baby Long since we got the call. We told her about talking with all of you until 1:30 am on Wednesday. We told her about planning showers, setting up the crib, and even starting on the baby bedding. I happened to have the swatches of fabric that Mark's sister Megan and I picked out this weekend in my purse and was even able to show her. She LOVED the pink and green. (You all will have to wait until later this week to see!)

Then she said, "Oh wait! I have something for you guys!" She pulled a STACK of tiny photos out of her purse. I saw the black and white pictures and recognized that distinctive size right away. It was all of the sono pictures from her entire pregnancy!! Mark and I poured over those pictures of our beautiful baby. We must have gone through that stack 4 times! SHE IS PERFECT. :) Then, as I tried to hand them back, she said, "No, they are for you guys! I want you all to keep them." My heart melted even more for this selfless, beautiful young woman. I know they are just pictures, but they are all she has, and it was just a taste of what I will feel when she places her baby in our arms. We will be crying tears of joy, but I know it will be agony for her to let this precious baby go. It makes me cry to even write about it!

Mark, our birth mom and I headed back to the sono room. I can't even put into words what it was like to see our tiny baby stretch and move. I know many of you remember that feeling of seeing your little one, and we were so excited to finally experience that for the first time. It was unbelievable. She is still definitely a girl (whew!) and it absolutely perfect. We got to see all of her organs and parts, her sweet little face, and even her head full of hair! Big hair bows, here we come!!!

The four of us headed out to lunch at Cheddars together to chat a bit more. I LOVE getting to know her even more. I know one day I'll be able to say, you know, your birth mom loved _____ too! She told us that after she picked us, she walked by the fridge and noticed a card our adoption agency gave her when she first contacted them. It dawned on her that it was the same scripture that we wrote about in our scrapbook profile! She said it was just great affirmation from God that she made the right decision. I love it when God reassures us like that!

For now, we've decided that since this is all so new, we are not going to post her sono pictures on the internet for all to see. Be sure to ask me to see them if you see me in person! Thanks, Lindsey for my super cute pink brag book! It's FULL of sweet pictures already!

She has had 5 sonograms so far, because they keep finding things "wrong" with the baby that they want to keep an eye on. She said that every time she goes back to the doctor, the problem is no where to be found! I know that many of you have been praying for her since before we knew her, and I'm not surprised at all that our baby is in perfect health. Thank you, God!!

PS- Do you LOVE the new pink layout? My friend Jessica, who has two adorable girls, gave me the idea of making the blog all girlie!!

Look for a fun "Getting Ready for Baby Girl Long" post coming soon!!

The GREATEST news EVER!!

ARE YOU SITTING DOWN??!?!?! I was at school today, working on registration when my cell rang. (I've gotten much better at having it with me!) It was our adoption agency. I was so confused about why they would be calling. I was in the cafeteria, and it was too noisy for me to hear. She sounded so positive- almost like she might be talking about another match!! I quickly headed out into the hall where I could hear better, just in time for me to hear her say,

"She changed her mind!"

I was so confused. "She picked YOU! You all are the ones she wants to raise her baby!" It was starting to sink in, and I started bawling! I quickly ducked into the school conference room for a little privacy. Our birth mother quickly chose the other couple after our meeting yesterday, but after thinking more and praying about it, she woke up this morning and knew she had to change her decision. She called the agency and said, "I want Mark and Corrie to be the ones to raise my baby." YIKES! What a miracle!!!! We LOVE this girl and we couldn't imagine that we would meet someone else who would be so amazing. Then Leslie (the director of our agency) said that she wants us to COME TO HER SONOGRAM appointment next week!!! Our birth mom said she knows it's last minute, so if we can't come (seriously?? can't come??!) then she'll be sure to get pictures for us. It was amazing to watch that little baby kick in her belly as we talked, but what an amazing joy it will be to be able to see the baby in action in a sonogram!! (Yes, don't worry, there will SO be a blog post about it!!)

I immediately called Mark, bawling, for the 2nd time in a week. It was just one week ago today when we got the call that she wanted to meet us! Mark was SO EXCITED!! It took him a minute to understand what I was saying through all the tears and craziness. He was just as floored as I was! We walked out of yesterday's interview in love with this girl. The meeting was going so well that we were actually wondering at the end if we had already been picked. We were confused when we found out she initially chose the other couple, but we felt an overwhelming peace, so completely overwhelming that it could only come from God. I was really surprised that I never cried. If you know me, you know I'm a crier, so this was not like me at all. Now we know why we felt such peace!! We both started calling our families and relaying the story to everyone. SO FUN!! We have waited many, many years to be able to say "WE'RE HAVING A BABY!" I think my dad's response about sums it up. He said, "This is the greatest news I can imagine!" :)

I need to back up a bit before I can tell you the next part. We decided to adopt back in January. Mark and I have had this feeling the entire time that our baby would be a girl. I know a lot of you have just "known" what gender your baby would be before your first sono, but there's not a baby in my belly, so it was a bit strange. Well, you guessed it...

IT'S a GIRL!!!!!

We were both so excited to hear that during the match meeting!! I cannot wait for all things girl!! Just wait until you see what we have planned for the nursery... Here are the rest of the stats on our precious baby girl!!

Due Date: October 2nd

Current Age: 32 weeks this Friday

Health: excellent

Length of time to prep: 8 weeks or LESS!! :)

Not this time...

Well, we had our meeting with the potential birth mother today. The meeting went really well, and we could definitely feel all of your prayers! We both felt peace during the meeting, and we were comfortable and able to be ourselves. She was a great girl. While we were driving back to Fort Worth, we got the call from the agency that the birth mother decided to go with the other couple that she interviewed this morning.

We prayed that we would get the baby that God has picked out for us, and this one was not it. We feel complete peace with her decision, and while we would have loved to be giving you crazy, exciting news right now, that was not God's plan. We don't want this baby if it's not God's best for us!

Now we are back to waiting for the call that there is another potential birth mother interested in us. Hopefully that call will come soon! :)