Wedding Whirlwind!

This weekend we made a whirlwind trip to Houston to celebrate my uncle's wedding!  Congratulations, Craig and Barbara!

Daddy and his girl checking out the amazing views from the 49th floor before the party started!

Checking out the sunset!

Celebrating with Nonny and my mom

Six and a half years ago I married the love of my life!

Unfortunately, since we had about 6 cameras going, I never got a picture of Craig and Barbara.  Landrie remembered Barbara, went right to her, and even gave her a kiss and a hug!

Landrie checked out the views with her big cousins, Bennett and Brooke!

Little Brookie is already nine!  

Mark danced with Landrie, and I couldn't even begin to think about celebrating her wedding one day!!

We had an early morning breakfast before everyone got back on the road.  Landrie's got two of her favorites, Uncle Eric and a baby. :)

On our way out of town we had to stop by to see our friends and their newest addition, little miss Annie!  Congrats, Laura and Josh!! 

ONE YEAR OLD!

Happy birthday to you, sweet Landrie Grace!  Tuesday, September 14th was Landrie's FIRST birthday!

We started the day with a pancake shaped like a giant #1.

  It was a smashing success!

Mark took the afternoon off so we could spend the day as a family.  Isn't she adorable in her birthday onesie from Uncle Eric and Aunt Melissa?

We had Landrie's 1 year check up this morning.  Dr. Dalton couldn't believe how much she talked!  She babbled during the entire visit!

Our dainty little girl has been growing like a weed, but not gaining any weight!  After being in the 50th % all the way to her 6 month check up, now this non-stop little girl is in the 5th % for her weight (only 18 pounds!) and the 75th% for her height.  Once again, we got a "Well, what do you expect?  She's going to be built like the two of you!"  :)

Landrie's latest endeavor is climbing on EVERYTHING!  The other day I was eating cereal at the kitchen table and she climbed right up next to me on the bench.  Then she happily shared my Rice Krispies as a reward!  I'm pretty sure if we would have let her continue to climb up the stroller, she would have been on the kitchen counter in no time!

Caught red-handed!  She does this a couple times a day.  

She looks so big in her birthday wagon!

She tore into this gift from Granny.  Every single strip of paper she tore off went into her mouth.  Yum.

She's not walking yet, but has mastered the art of stretching to ridiculous lengths to get from one object to another without letting go.  Since I'm still not supposed to pick her up, she happily walks around the house, holding my hand.  This is what I see from my view!  

I know she's growing up fast, but really??  Landrie, coffee already?!

We love you, sweet little one year old!

If you missed the post about her birthday bash, click here to see her zebra and hot pink "We're WILD about LANDRIE" party!  

8 Days of ADOPTION-Open Adoption

Well, you are either relieved or sad at this point. :)  Tomorrow is the last days of my first ever attempt at 8 straight days of blogging.  Unless I have another crazy surgery while on vacation again, it probably will never happen again!  Only 2 1/2 more weeks until I can pick up sweet Landrie again!

So, on to talking about the one topic that I get asked about OVER and OVER again.  I know, it's weird.  It's not a normal, everyday thing to hang out with the woman who carried our baby and gave birth to her.  Many of you imagine feelings of extreme jealousy (I used to!) or of worry that Brianna will somehow take her back (every prospective adoptive parents' greatest fear!).  Turns out, that like many things, what we can imagine is much worse than the reality.  That fear of going away to college turns into "This is the best ever!"  :)

Open adoption can mean many things.  In the past year and half, we've had SO many of our friends adopt sweet babies. Some are still in the process right now.  Every single one of us has a different relationship with our birth mom, because we've all chosen what works best for our families.

As I said before in my Baby Mama post, birth moms are just girls whose birth control failed.  They are normal, every day people.  That was NOT what I initially imagined in my head. :)  

We went to the all day training at Inheritance and our perception changed completely.  We heard birth moms and adoptive parents speak.  Linda, an adoptive mom, spoke, and we were blown away.  Really??  You went to a mall with your daughter's birth mom?  Are you crazy?  Then her daughter's birth mom spoke, and she was so sweet and normal!  Our hearts began to change.

Brianna chose her top 2 couples by looking through profiles.  This is really common as the "lightest" type of open adoption.  She knows your 1st names, what you look like and what you like to do.  Then we met for a match meeting face to face.  That was nerve-wracking!!  Some people never talk to their baby's birthmom, and others talk on the phone. Here we are after going to her sonogram appointment with her.  This is more rare, just because of travel (if you aren't local) and because many agencies wait until the last trimester to match, which is after that 20 week sono.  I cannot even begin to tell you what it was like to see our baby moving around with her tiny heart beating on that screen.  I LOVED it!

If you ever watch Adoption Stories (A Baby Story's sister show) on TLC, you may see couples in the hospital with their birth mom.  If you haven't seen it, click here to see when it's playing next!  We rushed to be there for the big event!!  I'm still in my dress from my baby shower where I found out Brianna was in labor. :)  We stayed for several hours, but waited in the waiting room when Landrie was actually born.

We didn't have any idea how things would go in the hospital, but they couldn't have gone better!  Landrie stayed with us in a room next door to Brianna so we could easily go to each other's room.  It was strange at first.  We didn't know each other that well, but we shared this incredibly personal, amazing experience.  That hospital time was kind of like church camp.  You share so much that you just can't help getting close!  Landrie was a few hours old when we attempted this diaper change.  

We left the future meetings up to Brianna.  Mark, who at first was even more apprehensive than me, was ready to do anything.  He didn't care if she wanted to see us every weekend!! :)  She chose a much more reasonable time of when Landrie was 5 weeks old.  How adorable is that tiny baby girl??

Another great part of having an open adoption is that Brianna's daughter gets to spend time with Landrie too.  Brynn is so sweet with her little sister!  I can't believe how much they look alike.  I've known several people who found out about a sibling or half sibling much later in life and felt like they missed out.  I'm glad Landrie and Brynn get to be friends from the start!

One thing that many adoptive parents do is send pictures and letters each month for the 1st year, then every year after that.  Here is the very first picture pack we sent to Brianna!  We hadn't exchanged addresses yet, so we put the pictures, letter and an extra envelope inside the big manila envelope. We sent the big envelope to our agency, then they sent everything on to Brianna!

Yup, this is Brynn playing with 6 month old Landrie in our home.  When we met Brianna, we were immediately comfortable with her, but we didn't tell her our last name.  In the hospital, we grew closer and told her our last name.  At that point, we knew she wasn't an ax murderer or anything. :)  I still thought all future meetings would be at a park or restaurant.  Before our first meeting, I was going crazy trying to think of a good place to hang out in October with a 2 year old and a 5 week old.  We needed a comfortable place, maybe with couches, where we could stay as long as we wanted and where Brynn could be free to run around.  Hmmm...  My sleep- deprived little brain was drawing a blank.  Barnes and Noble??  When Brianna sweetly suggested our home as a possibility, it was perfect.  Mark and talked through all the reasons why it would be a bad idea, and we couldn't think of a single one. :)   

I think one of the main reasons that adoptive parents are fearful of an open adoption is because they don't know what a birth mom is like.  Check out my Baby Mama post that I wrote about what a typical birth mom looks like.  I love that I wrote, "You never know, one day we might be in a relationship where we end up inviting her to our baby's birthday, and you might meet her!"  Guess who came to Landrie's party?  You'll just have to wait for tomorrow's picture overload to find out!! :)

Sometimes the birth mom is not at a place in her life where she's comfortable with and open adoption.  Sometimes she feels it will be too painful.  Other times, your baby's birth mom is not someone who you would like to hang around your child.  If she's a drug addict who has been in jail 7 times for aggravated assault, you probably will just send her pictures!   We don't know what our next adoption will look like, but for Landrie, having an open adoption is amazing.  

If you want to check out the rest of the "8 Days of Adoption" series, just click here!  If you are new to our blog and want to see more about our match meeting, hospital stay and visits with Brianna, just click the "Landrie's Birth Mom- Brianna" label on the top right of the blog, or click here.

I CAN'T WAIT for Landrie's first birthday tomorrow!  Get ready for a post with a TON of party pictures!!

8 Days of ADOPTION- It's GREAT to say!

Hey!  Welcome back!  We are almost done with the "8 Days of Adoption" series, and that means our baby girl is almost ONE!  Eek!!

Today is the flip side of Wednesday's "Don't Say This" post.  Mark and I have a 7 year old nephew who was adopted when we were still dating.  There was a lot I wanted to ask or say to my future brother and sister - in- law, but I didn't want to say the wrong thing.  These are things that are 100% okay to say to adoptive parents.  As a matter of fact, I LOVE to hear them!

-"Ahhhhhhh!!!" or "EEEEEEKK"" or "I have never been SO EXCITED in my life!!!"  You get the idea.  When we prepared to tell family and friends that we had chosen adoption as the way to grow our family, we were ready for all kinds of weird looks or strange comments.  We LOVED how excited you all were!!

We used this puzzle to share our good news with some of our family and friends.  Can you figure it out??  HINT: My niece's name is Abbie.

-It's perfectly okay to say "Landrie has your eyes!" or "She's great at sports just like her daddy!" You don't need to make up a resemblance, but if you feel the need to say something you can always comment on a personality trait.  I love that when a stranger said something about how much Landrie looked like me and I told her Landrie was adopted she started to argue with me!  She was shocked that an adopted child could resemble her mom!  :)

My sweet friend Angela gave me this onesie before Landrie was born.  It says, "gorgeous (just like my mom)."

-Do act like we are a regular, normal family.  Adoption is not a better way to have kids, it's just another way! We don't elevate adoption when we talk with Landrie, it's just one more special way that God makes families!

-When we first bring the baby (toddler, 7 year old) home, act just like you would if a friend or family member came home from the hospital with a newborn.  Throw a baby shower (or a welcome to the family party for an older child with clothes and toys!) and bring meals.  Some adoptive parents want a shower before they bring the baby home and others would rather wait (or don't have time!).  Just ask.  We didn't have any baby stuff, so we had two showers after we got matched but before we brought Landrie home.  We knew we ran the risk of a bunch of adorable pink stuff and a failed adoption.  That would have been really hard.  

-Ask questions!  If you aren't sure, you can just ask a general question like, "What was the hardest part?" or "How are you adjusting to motherhood?" instead of "How much did it cost?" or "Why didn't your birth mom want to keep her?"  General questions give adoptive parents the chance to talk about this life changing event without asking something they aren't comfortable talking about.  Just like you may (or may not!) have told people the story about your labor experience!

I stressed so much about the "Don't Say" post, so thank you so much for all of you who had sweet things to say about it!  I'm sure many of us who have been through a unique situation (or who live in a unique situation) could write a post just like it.  Hopefully you hear my heart as I say the wrong thing too!!  :)

If you want to check out the rest of the "8 Days of Adoption" posts, just click here!

Adoption is TOO expensive!!

It's already day 5 in our "8 Days of Adoption!"

I've heard a lot of people mention they would love to adopt, if only it wasn't so outrageously expensive.  I don't have a Top 10 list like I did with my Ways to Make Your Child's Teacher Love You or my Must Have Baby Items, but here are some that could help!!

7.  Check with your employer.  Some offer cash for adoption as part of your benefits package!

6.  Do your own fundraiser.  If your neighbors are willing to buy wrapping paper and cheese logs from the local elementary school, there's a good chance they will support you too!


5.  Run in this New Braunfels Adoption Marathon!  You can form a team and make some cash!

4.  There are adoption grants available.  Show Hope was started by Steven Curtis Chapman (an adoptive dad!) and offers grants.  They also have a listing of other places to apply.

3.  Go crazy with your budget.  If you have another child your expenses will go up anyways, so start living on less now and soon you'll have enough!   

2.  There are adoption loans.  Yup, you can finance your minivan and your next child!  This could be your answer if you only had part and could pay it back when you get the tax credit (see #1 below!)  This place offers interest free loans to Christian families!

1. This one is BY FAR the best.  Due to the recent new health care bill, the Adoption Tax Credit has changed!  Yes, the government loves adoption too!  The tax credit was increased $13,170 and it's REFUNDABLE!  The good news is that even if you owe less than $13,170 in taxes, you will get it back as a refund.  It used to be that if you owed less than the credit, you had to space it out over several years, so the people who made less could have to wait 5 years to get the full credit.  The hard thing about this is that you can only take the credit for the year when your adoption is finalized, not when your baby is born.  So, Landrie will be about 18 months old when we finally get it.  Just in time for baby #2!  Check out all the details here.

There are a ton of other ways to make adoption a reality for your family.  I know it may seem out of reach, but what better thing to spend your money on?  This "purchase" will never collect dust, need to be upgraded or end up in your Goodwill pile. If you feel God leading you to adopt, go for it!  It will have an amazing impact on your life!  We have been amazed over and OVER at how God has been so faithful to provide for our family!

If you want to see the rest of the "8 Days of Adoption" posts, just click here!

8 Days of ADOPTION- Perfect Birth Mom!

Welcome back!  I am so excited that you guys came back for more of the "8 Days of Adoption" series!

Today's post is all about the Perfect Birth Mom.  Now, if you've been reading our blog for long, you know all about Brianna, Landrie's birth mom.  I could EASILY write a novel about all the reasons why Brianna is so amazing, but I know you don't have all day.  :)  There's a good chance (we hope!) that we will one day be matched with another birth mom too.  This post will be about birth moms in general and Brianna too. (of course!)

The PERFECT BIRTH MOM...

-Loves her baby!  Women who create an adoption plan because they LOVE their baby so much that they want to do what is best for her, even if it's not what they want.  Catelynn, on 16 and Pregnant and now Teen Mom on MTV, is a teenager who gives us insight into what life after her adoption is like.  I have to admit, I love this show!  You can watch her episode here.  Brianna is in a totally different situation, but also ADORES Landrie Grace!

Seriously, can you argue with the look of adoration on Brianna’s face?  I remember snapping a TON of pictures like this at the hospital, because I didn't know what our relationship with Brianna would be like, and I didn't want Landrie to ever doubt Brianna's love for her.

-Lives in Texas!  

HA!  No, seriously, I didn't realize that adoption laws are different in each state.  In Texas, the birth mom can sign the adoption paperwork anytime after 48 hours.  In other states, she may have to wait weeks.  In the meantime, the birth mom, baby and adoptive parents are all living in limbo.  Plus, we live in Texas, so it makes things much easier.  Even if she lived just a few hours north in Oklahoma, we might have to live in a hotel for days or weeks before the Interstate Compact  paperwork went through and were allowed to cross state lines.  Of course, even if the next baby God has for us is halfway around the world, we won't let anything stop us from bringing her home!

-Decides what level of open-ness she wants in the future, then chooses a couple with the same perspective.  I can't write too much about open adoptions here, because I've got to save it for the "Open Adoption" day!  Some first time adoptive parents don't want any kind of open relationship, and others can't wait to dive right in.  Many of us are some where in the middle!  If she thinks she might want to see her baby in person one day, she should talk with her agency about a couple who is open to the possibility.  When we met Brianna, we knew that each of us was open to meeting, but we didn't know what that would look like in the future.

-Might have used drugs, smoked, eaten sushi, or (GASP!) had some caffeine. She might be carrying a baby and not know what race it is.  WHAT?!  Are you surprised about this one?  No matter what her situation, God has the perfect family for her baby.  When we were considering adoption, I read in all the books sensitive ways to ask a birth mom about her drug use or the race of her baby.  (One book said that if she wears a denim jumper she probably doesn't use drugs.  Who knew?)  When we met Brianna, we felt such amazing peace about the siltation.  I never thought to ask about any of that!  The agency told us that Brianna did not use drugs or drink, but it wasn't even a concern.  I was blown away when we met Brianna back at the agency when Landrie was just 2 days old.  

She had a Starbucks cup in her hand, and she and Judy (one of the agency's social workers) started talking about how long it had been.  Brianna did not even drink coffee while pregnant with Landrie.  WOW!  

When you fill out adoption paperwork, the agency asks what you feel would be the best fit for your baby.  Inheritance actually nominated the Beach family for Extreme Makeover Home Edition this year and they won!  The Beaches adopted a special needs baby through Inheritance and they had adopted several other babies with special needs too!  See the tear-jerker episode or just look at their pictures here.

So, here's the honest truth.  If I would have done this post at the very beginning of our adoption journey, it would have been MUCH different.  You know how you can buy eggs (not chicken eggs) from Harvard students who are part time super models?  Yup.  It really happens.  We imagined the perfect person (because we are perfect, you know) to provide the genes for our perfect baby.  God slowly changed our hearts.  He opened our eyes.  Nothing is impossible for God.  Did you know that a baby exposed to cocaine only has a 30% chance of having any affects?  Did you know that a mom who does everything right can have a baby with a serious problem?  After many years of infertility and months of adoption planning, we finally learned to trust God with our future baby.  Brianna really, really is the perfect birth mom.  If I were to list everything about her here on paper, you would all agree completely.  But, that is not why she wins the title of "Perfect Birth Mom."  She wears the sash because she is the one God chose to for us.  As God dreamed about our beautiful little girl, he could have brought her to us in many different ways, but he chose to bring her to us through Brianna.  His ways are perfect.  So, congrats, Brianna!!!!

You are amazing, and we love you!  Thank you for being part of our lives!!

8 Days of ADOPTION- Oh God, is this your will?

Welcome back!  Today is the 3rd day in the 8 Days of Adoption series!  "Oh God, is this your will?"

 I'm counting down to sweet Landrie's 1st birthday!  This topic is one that I struggled with LONG before we started trying to have a baby.  God's plans  for my life are obviously the best, so of course I want to follow them.  Unfortunately, there's no "Book of Corrie" in the Bible that lays our every decision for me!  I have to pray that God will make the correct decision clear.

During the years of infertility (which seemed like decades!) we always knew that adoption was an option for us.  The question was just how far to go with science.  We did countless fertility treatments and, in January 2009, Mark and I headed back to the fertility doctor to discuss the next one.  We left the great appointment at the hospital, and it was as clear as if God had spray painted "NO" on the side of the parking garage in bright orange paint!  We knew that we were done with fertility treatments.  I checked out this book:

It is a GREAT read if you are even thinking about adopting one day.  Within days of leaving the fertility doctor's office, we felt OVERWHELMING peace about pursing adoption.  We were ECSTATIC!!  That same week, Landrie Grace was conceived.

You always hear that it can take years to adopt, so I immediately started the daunting process of finding an agency.  Our friends were in the same boat, so we had a spreadsheet that we passed back and forth!  Two agencies stood out.  We liked Inheritance the best, but they were overwhelmed with more prospective parents than ever and were making very few placements.  By my calculations, it would be 18 months before we could even be officially waiting!  Ughhh. 

 The other place promised a match in 2 months, but there were several things that made us feel uncomfortable.  After a month of debating, I couldn't just sit around any more.  I printed out the application packet of the 2 month place.  Mark got home and I told him I wanted to at least start it.  He checked the answering machine before we began.  Leslie (from Inheritance) left us a message.  They had a TON of babies placed all at once and they were ready to start the process NOW!  That 18 month wait that I had calculated vanished into thin air.  We were just days away from sending a huge down payment to the wrong agency.  Thank you God, for preventing me from messing everything up with my impatience!

We began with our Paperwork Party then started on our scrapbook.  The potential birth moms look through these to choose the couple for their parent.  We chose Jeremiah 29:11.

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Meanwhile, Misty from Inheritance sent Brianna a card and Brianna put it on her fridge.  You guessed it, the card had Jeremiah 29:11 on it.  Months later, she got our scrapbook profile and found the same scripture.  

From the time we felt peace about adopting, we knew we were having a girl.  When Leslie called just a week or two after turning in our profile (!!!) to tell us a birth mom wanted to meet us, I was so flabbergasted that I didn't even ask if the baby was a boy or girl!  In the middle of the match meeting when Brianna told us it was a girl, it was all I could do not to lose it right there!  

Just 5 1/2 weeks later, we were flying down the highway to be there for Landrie's birth!  She came 3 weeks early, and we weren't quite ready!  Brianna asked us if we had a name yet and we told her our top two.  When we said "Landrie Grace" was one option, she couldn't believe it!  "Grace" was the one name that had been on her heart.  That made our choice easy!


I could go on and on about all the ways God has reassured us that we are on the path that He as planned for us.  Now we are just trying o figure out when his perfect timing will be for us to adopt a baby brother or sister for Landrie!


See Part 1 and Part II here and here!