8 Days of ADOPTION- Never thought this day would come- our baby is ONE!

I'm linking up with Kelly's Korner again!  This week is kids' birthday parties!  Click on over there for tons of fabulous ideas!!  I've updated the post from Landrie's party, and added even more links and pictures.  I hope you enjoy!

Well, folks, we made it!  If you're counting, that's 8 posts in 8 days, which is a new record for me!  I intended for some to be short and some long, but of course they are all novels. :)

So, today's post is "Never thought this day would come, but our baby is ONE!"  There were so many sad days when I wondered if I would be like Sarah and have to wait until age 90 to have a baby!!  Today we are living the dream of parenthood with our precious baby girl.  Landrie Grace Long, WE LOVE YOU!!  We waited and prayed for many years before we got to meet you, and our lives have never been better!

Well, this mom of one has been SO excited to finally get to plan a 1st birthday party for Landrie!  I may have been a bit over the top in my planning, because within days of my crazy emergency surgery, more than one person told me not to worry about the party and offered to help!  haha!

My mother-in-law made her ridiculously cute dress!  I tried to convince her (just a few days after surgery!) that I could walk around a fabric shop, but she wisely just insisted that I just close my eyes and go back to sleep.  I did. :)  She took the camera to JoAnns and took pictures of every pattern of fabric with pink or zebra on it and brought them home to me to choose from!  So sweet!  She sewed the dress

and these matching bloomers

then when Mark's sister Beth came over to watch Landrie, she took them home and added the cupcake and monogramming.  Seriously??  I considered this one on Etsy, but ours turned out so much cuter!!

When my friend Bethany heard I was going to send Mark to Hobby Lobby, she told me that was torture.  :)  She took my list and got all the party/crafting supplies I needed!  For the record, Mark had agreed to go.  He'll do anything for his girls.  :)

My parents came into town twice to help with everything going on and to help with the party!  My mom's a master party planner and did all the grocery shopping and helped make all the goodies.  

We went with the theme "We're WILD about Landrie!" because, well, we are!  These are the zebra chocolate covered pretzels that Landrie gave her friends.  When I was a teacher, Ruthie taught us all how to make these.  They were a FABULOUS fundraiser when we sold them (unwrapped and with rainbow sprinkles) for a dollar on Grandparent's Day!  See how to make them here.    

Then we used this tulle ribbon, slid the scrapbook paper tag on and just tied a knot .  We used the entire spool of tulle all over the party!  If you're doing a girly party, it's the best $2.99 you'll spend!!

YUMMY!!!  

The tiny tags said, "Landrie is WILD about YOU!"  I looked all over, and finally found the skinny cello wrappers here for really cheap!  I bought extra bags because I know I'll be doing this again!

Since Isaac and Landrie's Gotcha Day Party at the park was so fun, we had Landrie's first birthday at a park too!

I made these signs with 5x7s and scrapbook paper for Landrie's birthday banner!  Just click the picture to see them all close up.

Then we Mark and my mom hung it up in the gazebo at the park!  There's one picture for each month.  It got the idea from this blog.  Her Dr. Seuss party was so over the top, and I copied a bunch of her stuff!

Now for the FUN part, the part everyone loves about a first birthday party!

"That cake over there looks really tasty!"  I made her little high chair skirt too, but ran out of time to make a hat!  If you run out of time, you can just buy this adorable, personalized party decor pack here. (click here if that link is broken) Too cute!

I made her a strawberry cake (well, my mom made all the cupcakes and the batter for the cake, but she let me put the batter in the pans, so I could say I made it!), frosted it with vanilla and piped the zebra stripes out of melted chocolate.  She had a sparkly number 1 on top too!

"This is SO FUN, Mom!!!"

She dug her tiny fingers in, but couldn't lift the cake, so she just planted her face in it and chowed down!

"Dad, you're HILARIOUS!"  (a little sugar high about now)

Brianna jumped in for some pictures, but Landrie was WAY to focused on eating the entire cake to stop and smile. :)

A chocolate zebra stripe was stuck to her face.

Look how much she ate!!!  She was still shoveling it in her mouth when we finally took the cake away.  She's so petite; you'd never guess she eats like this.

"Daddy, you've GOT to try this stuff.  It's called 'birthday cake!'"

Meanwhile, her friends and cousins enjoyed cupcakes!

Landrie opened a gift from her friends, Lake, Smith and Thomas.

Checking out a gift from Brianna

It was a beautiful angel bracelet with her name engraved on it!  Brianna knows us oh so well!  On the back, she engraved Jeremiah 29:11.  Do you know why?  Read this.  So sweet!

Playing in the huge sandbox

Keri, Jessica and their girls drove up from Austin for the festivities!  It was so great to see you guys!

Friends and family enjoyed their lunch on tables with zebra print table runners (made from wrapping paper)! We put zebra and hot pink everywhere!! 

 I made the cupcake tower with her cake on top using this tutorial.  It wasn't hard!  I used tissue paper for the pink (so it was big enough to cover without seams) and cut strips of scrapbook paper for the edges instead of using ribbon.  

Tex has the best seat in the house! 

Click on the picture to see a close up of the cupcakes.  I spread white chocolate on waxed paper, then drizzled chocolate on top.  I broke it into pieces for cupcake toppers.  It was MUCH easier than my original plan!  The zebra cupcake wrappers were from Hobby Lobby too.

Lots of Landrie's friends are babies, so we had a "Baby Buffet" with Cheerios, pears and Puffs.  :)

Brynn is ready to float away!

We got home and realized we never took a picture with Landrie's grandparents!  We had lots of aunts, uncles and cousins at the party too!

I LOVED Landrie's party!  I could never have pulled it off without help from everyone around me.  At this point in my recovery from that crazy emergency surgery, I still was not even allowed to lift one pound.  Actually, even if I didn't have surgery, I never would have been able to do it alone either!  :)

Little Miss Landrie Grace Long, your daddy and mommy love you SO, SO much!!  You bring joy into our lives every day!!  We can't wait to watch you grow from our precious baby into a lovable little girl over the next year!!!  

**UPDATE!  Since we found out that our surprise blessing is on the way, and due just two weeks before Landrie's 2nd birthday, I'm already planning her next party!  I may have already booked the place... :)  SO, I'm debating between Mickey Mouse and Elmo.  She loves them both.  If you have good party ideas about one of those, please leave me a comment!  I want her to have a great party with her tiny new sibling!**

8 Days of ADOPTION-Open Adoption

Well, you are either relieved or sad at this point. :)  Tomorrow is the last days of my first ever attempt at 8 straight days of blogging.  Unless I have another crazy surgery while on vacation again, it probably will never happen again!  Only 2 1/2 more weeks until I can pick up sweet Landrie again!

So, on to talking about the one topic that I get asked about OVER and OVER again.  I know, it's weird.  It's not a normal, everyday thing to hang out with the woman who carried our baby and gave birth to her.  Many of you imagine feelings of extreme jealousy (I used to!) or of worry that Brianna will somehow take her back (every prospective adoptive parents' greatest fear!).  Turns out, that like many things, what we can imagine is much worse than the reality.  That fear of going away to college turns into "This is the best ever!"  :)

Open adoption can mean many things.  In the past year and half, we've had SO many of our friends adopt sweet babies. Some are still in the process right now.  Every single one of us has a different relationship with our birth mom, because we've all chosen what works best for our families.

As I said before in my Baby Mama post, birth moms are just girls whose birth control failed.  They are normal, every day people.  That was NOT what I initially imagined in my head. :)  

We went to the all day training at Inheritance and our perception changed completely.  We heard birth moms and adoptive parents speak.  Linda, an adoptive mom, spoke, and we were blown away.  Really??  You went to a mall with your daughter's birth mom?  Are you crazy?  Then her daughter's birth mom spoke, and she was so sweet and normal!  Our hearts began to change.

Brianna chose her top 2 couples by looking through profiles.  This is really common as the "lightest" type of open adoption.  She knows your 1st names, what you look like and what you like to do.  Then we met for a match meeting face to face.  That was nerve-wracking!!  Some people never talk to their baby's birthmom, and others talk on the phone. Here we are after going to her sonogram appointment with her.  This is more rare, just because of travel (if you aren't local) and because many agencies wait until the last trimester to match, which is after that 20 week sono.  I cannot even begin to tell you what it was like to see our baby moving around with her tiny heart beating on that screen.  I LOVED it!

If you ever watch Adoption Stories (A Baby Story's sister show) on TLC, you may see couples in the hospital with their birth mom.  If you haven't seen it, click here to see when it's playing next!  We rushed to be there for the big event!!  I'm still in my dress from my baby shower where I found out Brianna was in labor. :)  We stayed for several hours, but waited in the waiting room when Landrie was actually born.

We didn't have any idea how things would go in the hospital, but they couldn't have gone better!  Landrie stayed with us in a room next door to Brianna so we could easily go to each other's room.  It was strange at first.  We didn't know each other that well, but we shared this incredibly personal, amazing experience.  That hospital time was kind of like church camp.  You share so much that you just can't help getting close!  Landrie was a few hours old when we attempted this diaper change.  

We left the future meetings up to Brianna.  Mark, who at first was even more apprehensive than me, was ready to do anything.  He didn't care if she wanted to see us every weekend!! :)  She chose a much more reasonable time of when Landrie was 5 weeks old.  How adorable is that tiny baby girl??

Another great part of having an open adoption is that Brianna's daughter gets to spend time with Landrie too.  Brynn is so sweet with her little sister!  I can't believe how much they look alike.  I've known several people who found out about a sibling or half sibling much later in life and felt like they missed out.  I'm glad Landrie and Brynn get to be friends from the start!

One thing that many adoptive parents do is send pictures and letters each month for the 1st year, then every year after that.  Here is the very first picture pack we sent to Brianna!  We hadn't exchanged addresses yet, so we put the pictures, letter and an extra envelope inside the big manila envelope. We sent the big envelope to our agency, then they sent everything on to Brianna!

Yup, this is Brynn playing with 6 month old Landrie in our home.  When we met Brianna, we were immediately comfortable with her, but we didn't tell her our last name.  In the hospital, we grew closer and told her our last name.  At that point, we knew she wasn't an ax murderer or anything. :)  I still thought all future meetings would be at a park or restaurant.  Before our first meeting, I was going crazy trying to think of a good place to hang out in October with a 2 year old and a 5 week old.  We needed a comfortable place, maybe with couches, where we could stay as long as we wanted and where Brynn could be free to run around.  Hmmm...  My sleep- deprived little brain was drawing a blank.  Barnes and Noble??  When Brianna sweetly suggested our home as a possibility, it was perfect.  Mark and talked through all the reasons why it would be a bad idea, and we couldn't think of a single one. :)   

I think one of the main reasons that adoptive parents are fearful of an open adoption is because they don't know what a birth mom is like.  Check out my Baby Mama post that I wrote about what a typical birth mom looks like.  I love that I wrote, "You never know, one day we might be in a relationship where we end up inviting her to our baby's birthday, and you might meet her!"  Guess who came to Landrie's party?  You'll just have to wait for tomorrow's picture overload to find out!! :)

Sometimes the birth mom is not at a place in her life where she's comfortable with and open adoption.  Sometimes she feels it will be too painful.  Other times, your baby's birth mom is not someone who you would like to hang around your child.  If she's a drug addict who has been in jail 7 times for aggravated assault, you probably will just send her pictures!   We don't know what our next adoption will look like, but for Landrie, having an open adoption is amazing.  

If you want to check out the rest of the "8 Days of Adoption" series, just click here!  If you are new to our blog and want to see more about our match meeting, hospital stay and visits with Brianna, just click the "Landrie's Birth Mom- Brianna" label on the top right of the blog, or click here.

I CAN'T WAIT for Landrie's first birthday tomorrow!  Get ready for a post with a TON of party pictures!!

8 Days of ADOPTION- It's GREAT to say!

Hey!  Welcome back!  We are almost done with the "8 Days of Adoption" series, and that means our baby girl is almost ONE!  Eek!!

Today is the flip side of Wednesday's "Don't Say This" post.  Mark and I have a 7 year old nephew who was adopted when we were still dating.  There was a lot I wanted to ask or say to my future brother and sister - in- law, but I didn't want to say the wrong thing.  These are things that are 100% okay to say to adoptive parents.  As a matter of fact, I LOVE to hear them!

-"Ahhhhhhh!!!" or "EEEEEEKK"" or "I have never been SO EXCITED in my life!!!"  You get the idea.  When we prepared to tell family and friends that we had chosen adoption as the way to grow our family, we were ready for all kinds of weird looks or strange comments.  We LOVED how excited you all were!!

We used this puzzle to share our good news with some of our family and friends.  Can you figure it out??  HINT: My niece's name is Abbie.

-It's perfectly okay to say "Landrie has your eyes!" or "She's great at sports just like her daddy!" You don't need to make up a resemblance, but if you feel the need to say something you can always comment on a personality trait.  I love that when a stranger said something about how much Landrie looked like me and I told her Landrie was adopted she started to argue with me!  She was shocked that an adopted child could resemble her mom!  :)

My sweet friend Angela gave me this onesie before Landrie was born.  It says, "gorgeous (just like my mom)."

-Do act like we are a regular, normal family.  Adoption is not a better way to have kids, it's just another way! We don't elevate adoption when we talk with Landrie, it's just one more special way that God makes families!

-When we first bring the baby (toddler, 7 year old) home, act just like you would if a friend or family member came home from the hospital with a newborn.  Throw a baby shower (or a welcome to the family party for an older child with clothes and toys!) and bring meals.  Some adoptive parents want a shower before they bring the baby home and others would rather wait (or don't have time!).  Just ask.  We didn't have any baby stuff, so we had two showers after we got matched but before we brought Landrie home.  We knew we ran the risk of a bunch of adorable pink stuff and a failed adoption.  That would have been really hard.  

-Ask questions!  If you aren't sure, you can just ask a general question like, "What was the hardest part?" or "How are you adjusting to motherhood?" instead of "How much did it cost?" or "Why didn't your birth mom want to keep her?"  General questions give adoptive parents the chance to talk about this life changing event without asking something they aren't comfortable talking about.  Just like you may (or may not!) have told people the story about your labor experience!

I stressed so much about the "Don't Say" post, so thank you so much for all of you who had sweet things to say about it!  I'm sure many of us who have been through a unique situation (or who live in a unique situation) could write a post just like it.  Hopefully you hear my heart as I say the wrong thing too!!  :)

If you want to check out the rest of the "8 Days of Adoption" posts, just click here!

Adoption is TOO expensive!!

It's already day 5 in our "8 Days of Adoption!"

I've heard a lot of people mention they would love to adopt, if only it wasn't so outrageously expensive.  I don't have a Top 10 list like I did with my Ways to Make Your Child's Teacher Love You or my Must Have Baby Items, but here are some that could help!!

7.  Check with your employer.  Some offer cash for adoption as part of your benefits package!

6.  Do your own fundraiser.  If your neighbors are willing to buy wrapping paper and cheese logs from the local elementary school, there's a good chance they will support you too!


5.  Run in this New Braunfels Adoption Marathon!  You can form a team and make some cash!

4.  There are adoption grants available.  Show Hope was started by Steven Curtis Chapman (an adoptive dad!) and offers grants.  They also have a listing of other places to apply.

3.  Go crazy with your budget.  If you have another child your expenses will go up anyways, so start living on less now and soon you'll have enough!   

2.  There are adoption loans.  Yup, you can finance your minivan and your next child!  This could be your answer if you only had part and could pay it back when you get the tax credit (see #1 below!)  This place offers interest free loans to Christian families!

1. This one is BY FAR the best.  Due to the recent new health care bill, the Adoption Tax Credit has changed!  Yes, the government loves adoption too!  The tax credit was increased $13,170 and it's REFUNDABLE!  The good news is that even if you owe less than $13,170 in taxes, you will get it back as a refund.  It used to be that if you owed less than the credit, you had to space it out over several years, so the people who made less could have to wait 5 years to get the full credit.  The hard thing about this is that you can only take the credit for the year when your adoption is finalized, not when your baby is born.  So, Landrie will be about 18 months old when we finally get it.  Just in time for baby #2!  Check out all the details here.

There are a ton of other ways to make adoption a reality for your family.  I know it may seem out of reach, but what better thing to spend your money on?  This "purchase" will never collect dust, need to be upgraded or end up in your Goodwill pile. If you feel God leading you to adopt, go for it!  It will have an amazing impact on your life!  We have been amazed over and OVER at how God has been so faithful to provide for our family!

If you want to see the rest of the "8 Days of Adoption" posts, just click here!