8 Days of ADOPTION- Perfect Birth Mom!

Welcome back!  I am so excited that you guys came back for more of the "8 Days of Adoption" series!

Today's post is all about the Perfect Birth Mom.  Now, if you've been reading our blog for long, you know all about Brianna, Landrie's birth mom.  I could EASILY write a novel about all the reasons why Brianna is so amazing, but I know you don't have all day.  :)  There's a good chance (we hope!) that we will one day be matched with another birth mom too.  This post will be about birth moms in general and Brianna too. (of course!)

The PERFECT BIRTH MOM...

-Loves her baby!  Women who create an adoption plan because they LOVE their baby so much that they want to do what is best for her, even if it's not what they want.  Catelynn, on 16 and Pregnant and now Teen Mom on MTV, is a teenager who gives us insight into what life after her adoption is like.  I have to admit, I love this show!  You can watch her episode here.  Brianna is in a totally different situation, but also ADORES Landrie Grace!

Seriously, can you argue with the look of adoration on Brianna’s face?  I remember snapping a TON of pictures like this at the hospital, because I didn't know what our relationship with Brianna would be like, and I didn't want Landrie to ever doubt Brianna's love for her.

-Lives in Texas!  

HA!  No, seriously, I didn't realize that adoption laws are different in each state.  In Texas, the birth mom can sign the adoption paperwork anytime after 48 hours.  In other states, she may have to wait weeks.  In the meantime, the birth mom, baby and adoptive parents are all living in limbo.  Plus, we live in Texas, so it makes things much easier.  Even if she lived just a few hours north in Oklahoma, we might have to live in a hotel for days or weeks before the Interstate Compact  paperwork went through and were allowed to cross state lines.  Of course, even if the next baby God has for us is halfway around the world, we won't let anything stop us from bringing her home!

-Decides what level of open-ness she wants in the future, then chooses a couple with the same perspective.  I can't write too much about open adoptions here, because I've got to save it for the "Open Adoption" day!  Some first time adoptive parents don't want any kind of open relationship, and others can't wait to dive right in.  Many of us are some where in the middle!  If she thinks she might want to see her baby in person one day, she should talk with her agency about a couple who is open to the possibility.  When we met Brianna, we knew that each of us was open to meeting, but we didn't know what that would look like in the future.

-Might have used drugs, smoked, eaten sushi, or (GASP!) had some caffeine. She might be carrying a baby and not know what race it is.  WHAT?!  Are you surprised about this one?  No matter what her situation, God has the perfect family for her baby.  When we were considering adoption, I read in all the books sensitive ways to ask a birth mom about her drug use or the race of her baby.  (One book said that if she wears a denim jumper she probably doesn't use drugs.  Who knew?)  When we met Brianna, we felt such amazing peace about the siltation.  I never thought to ask about any of that!  The agency told us that Brianna did not use drugs or drink, but it wasn't even a concern.  I was blown away when we met Brianna back at the agency when Landrie was just 2 days old.  

She had a Starbucks cup in her hand, and she and Judy (one of the agency's social workers) started talking about how long it had been.  Brianna did not even drink coffee while pregnant with Landrie.  WOW!  

When you fill out adoption paperwork, the agency asks what you feel would be the best fit for your baby.  Inheritance actually nominated the Beach family for Extreme Makeover Home Edition this year and they won!  The Beaches adopted a special needs baby through Inheritance and they had adopted several other babies with special needs too!  See the tear-jerker episode or just look at their pictures here.

So, here's the honest truth.  If I would have done this post at the very beginning of our adoption journey, it would have been MUCH different.  You know how you can buy eggs (not chicken eggs) from Harvard students who are part time super models?  Yup.  It really happens.  We imagined the perfect person (because we are perfect, you know) to provide the genes for our perfect baby.  God slowly changed our hearts.  He opened our eyes.  Nothing is impossible for God.  Did you know that a baby exposed to cocaine only has a 30% chance of having any affects?  Did you know that a mom who does everything right can have a baby with a serious problem?  After many years of infertility and months of adoption planning, we finally learned to trust God with our future baby.  Brianna really, really is the perfect birth mom.  If I were to list everything about her here on paper, you would all agree completely.  But, that is not why she wins the title of "Perfect Birth Mom."  She wears the sash because she is the one God chose to for us.  As God dreamed about our beautiful little girl, he could have brought her to us in many different ways, but he chose to bring her to us through Brianna.  His ways are perfect.  So, congrats, Brianna!!!!

You are amazing, and we love you!  Thank you for being part of our lives!!